Saturday, April 18, 2015

Diary of the Dead (2007)

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“Are we worth saving?”

            I am not a huge fan of zombie movies but Night of the Living, the original George A. Romero zombie movie, is one of my all time favorite movies. The story was excellent and to me because it was in black and white it was scary. When I read about Diary of the Dead being written and directed by Romero I had to see it. Well, let me not lie to myself or to you, I had to watch it because Tatiana Maslany is in the movie that is the real reason I wanted to sit through Diary of the Dead, reading that Romero wrote and directed it was a bonus. Unfortunately this movie falls into a ditch way off the side of the road.
            Keeping this plot as short as I possibly can so as not to bore myself all over again or bore you to tears, the movie starts off with a group of film students out in the woods shooting a movie. The movie is for student Jason Creed’s senior project. He likes documentary films but this project is supposed to be a horror movie. Their teacher, at least I think that is who the guy is supposed to be, sits in the background and watches them film. Over the radio they hear that a group of people throughout a couple of states have been coming back from the dead.
            They all get back to school to pick up Debora, Jason’s girlfriend, and head back to their homes to their families. Obviously, this being a zombie movie, their numbers start to fall as they continue traveling. The entire time Jason is a d-bag with a camera feeling that he will be the one who tells the world the truth about what is really going on. He records everything no matter how dangerous the situation and eventually gets killed…. If that was a spoiler to you then you have never seen a shitty clichéd horror movie in your life. I knew right from the beginning that Jason was dead since Debra is the one narrating.
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            I heard Diary of the Dead was not good at all but I did not know how truly terrible it was. I actually feel bad for Romero it was that bad. The concept of a film documentary of a zombie attack was actually good but the direction and the acting and even the script was awful. Every one of the characters were totally stupid. That seems to be the norm in horror movies that the characters are supposed to be stupid otherwise there would be no story and no one dying but these characters were stupid and outrageously annoying. The most pointless and ridiculous character was the teacher. He was like this kind of worldly older man who apparently was in a war and saw a lot of death. If he was made to be a kind of comical relief then Romero succeeded but I do not think in the way he intended.
   Tatiana Maslany’s character is in it for like ten minutes she is the first one out of the group to be turned into a zombie. I knew she was going to be one of the characters eating shit. I will say it was worth seeing her, she so little! At the time she made this Maslany was twenty-one. I almost did not even realize it was her because her voice changed so much. Seriously this is one of those movies where I think to myself the movies I will watch just to see my favorite actor/actress. Damn Tatiana Maslany for being amazing! (Tonight is the Orphan Black season three premier hence why I sat through this shit hole today). My advice is to run away from Diary of the Dead like a smart human being running away from a zombie. Even if you are a Tatiana Maslany fan stay away from this movie and let me just arrogantly say you are welcome for me having tortured myself watching Diary of the Dead so you will not have to. 
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Image result for diary of the dead 2007